Lies, Truth, and Restoration

            It’s been quite some time since I posted on here.  I spent some time with God at the beach this weekend and felt led to share with you.  This is the first post. I hope it speaks to you!       

For months, I felt like the beach was calling me.  It was only just a few weeks ago I realized it wasn’t the beach, it was God! God was calling me to the beach for some healing time with Him. I was more than happy to oblige.  I could hardly wait for some time in His beautiful creation and in His arms.  I had no idea what He had in store for me!

            For a while I’d been feeling a little dry.  I was still walking on my journey with Jesus but I couldn’t feel his presence like before.  In prayer one night, I broke down and asked Him why I could not feel His presence any longer.  I’d begun thinking this was just a season… Something I had to go through in order to grow, maybe a test to see if I’d continue pursuing Him even though I couldn’t feel Him.  In prayer that night, my Abba showed me that I was the one who’d pulled away.  I’d been wounded and felt rejected by friends.  The enemy took advantage of this situation and began planting lies.  Of course, these lies were attached to THE lie: I’m not good enough.

            Somewhere along the line I began thinking I did not belong to this “group” so maybe I don’t belong to this church.  I subconsciously took it a step further and began thinking I didn’t belong to God either.  I thought, maybe God really doesn’t have a place for me in His Kingdom.  The sad thing is that I did not even realize I was believing these lies until my loving Savior gently showed them to me.  I was heartbroken!  I felt God’s heart for me in that moment, the grief of watching my pain. I could do nothing but cry and ask His forgiveness.

            After spending time in my Abba’s presence, I felt restored to Him.  I could not believe how long I’d actually been without His presence.  I normally spend a lot of time in God’s presence.  Usually, my day consists of lots of prayer time, worship, bible study, and time just being with Him.  Over time, I’d started spending less and less time pursuing Him.  Again, it was so subtle and so slow, I did not realize what had happened until everything was exposed.  I am extremely grateful for the time at the beach with my Abba!  Yet again, He called to me, drew me in, and spoke truth to me! 

            Where are you on your journey?  Are you feeling a little dry or separated from your Savior?  If so, I encourage you to seek Him with all your heart.  Ask Him what is separating you.  Take time to sit in His presence and listen for an answer.

Jeremiah 29:12-14 “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity…^”

                       

Moving Forward

I did not make the 30 day Paleo challenge.  However, I did learn a lot about myself, my eating habits, and my body during my short time on the diet.  First and most importantly I was eating entirely too much refined sugar.  The withdrawals were horrific!  I am so grateful for that realization and for ridding my body of that addiction.  I have a whole new awareness of what I put in my body.  Before, I was eating yogurt with fruit almost every day.  Seems harmless, right? Healthy even? Wrong!  That yogurt alone had about 26ish grams of sugar.  Combined with the fruit, NOT GOOD!  I had gotten to where I would eat a piece of dark chocolate a couple times a day.  There were lots of other ways sugar was sneaking into my daily routine as well. (Hint: check your cereal, oatmeal, protein bars, and even salad dressing)

Doing paleo, I also realized how important it is for me to be completely gluten free.  My stomach pain was drastically decreased and there was very little bloating.  For me, this is a big deal!  I remember feeling the same way when I went gluten free originally.  Why I continue to learn everything the hard way, I don’t know!!  I am determined to stay completely gluten free from here forward. 

Lately, I am feeling a bit frustrated with my health.  Doing paleo, I had a lot of health issues and since then I’ve had more.  I have been thinking a lot about when I was healthiest and feeling my best.  It was when I first went gluten free.  At that time, I was not eating many processed foods and I was exercising regularly doing Pilates.  Somewhere along the way, I began eating processed foods again and then went back to gluten.  Again, I am so grateful to God for making clear to me where I went wrong.  I had also quit doing Pilates.

Moving forward, I have new goals for taking care of myself.  Most importantly are maintaining a low sugar and gluten free diet.  I aim to eat fruits and vegetables as often as possible and keep processed foods to a minimum.  I will continue to use a lot of the tools I learned in Paleo.  I totally love the recipes and will continue cooking them.  I am officially hooked on Coconut milk for sure.  Also, I love cooking with the almond flour.  Many “gluten free” flours leave an aftertaste, not so with almond flour!  I will continue to eat more healthy fats with each meal and very little grains.  The main thing I’ve added back to my diet is dairy.  Although, even that is to a minimum.  I have done a lot of research and many paleo/primal dieters recommend raw cheese.  I bought some today and look forward to trying it soon.  Also, my protein powder is back!  Gotta have it in my smoothies… I’ve also added in some beans, specifically hummus. Yum!  Love hummus with carrot sticks!

Other goals include working Pilates into my regular bootcamp/crossfit routine.  While it is not enough to build the muscle I like, it does do my body good.  It really helps me with stretching, posture, alignment, and it helps relieve my headaches.  Also, I am spending more time in prayer, the Word, and in my Savior’s presence!