A Touch from God

While at the beach spending time with God in October, I experienced a huge revelation/breakthrough!  To begin, I will first give you a little back story.  During the time Kevin and I were engaged I was not a Christian. However, I did pray for a sign from God if marrying Kevin was the right thing or not.  Not long after, several bad things happened and I took it as a sign that it was not God’s will.  Even knowing that, or rather thinking I knew that, I married him anyway. 

The day of my wedding I was extremely anxious, nauseous and generally doing very badly!  There are pictures of me where I look like death! It was horrible!  My family and friends wrote it off as nerves.  Walking down the aisle my Dad kept telling me to “breathe, Aimee, breathe!”  I was thinking, why is he telling me that?  Come to find out, I was hyperventilating!  So, when I got to Kevin and the ceremony began, I remember feeling God’s presence.  Kevin and I wrote our own vows.  After the ceremony, people came up to us and commented how beautiful our vows were, how they could feel God’s presence, how touched they were, etc.

With all of that being said, for 5 years I have believed the lie that I married Kevin against God’s will!  And it WAS a lie!  As my friend and I sat on the balcony at the beach, we were talking about marriage and the importance of being married by a Godly person.  I told her how even though Kevin and I weren’t saved it was important to us to be married by a Godly person.  I began telling her about the day of my wedding and all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks!  This revelation hit me spiritually and I felt it physically! GOD would never make me feel the way I felt on the day of my wedding!  All of that was from the enemy!  All of the feelings I had, I have only experienced when under attack from the enemy.  At the time of my wedding, I was not a Christian and did not know anything about the enemy. I truly believed it was God and that it was my punishment for going against His will!

This revelation hit me in a way I cannot begin to explain.  I immediately began crying and then laughing.  I felt physically lighter and somehow different!  The biggest lie of my marriage had been exposed and God healed me in a way only HE can!  It was as though in that moment, God reached down and touched me and I will never be the same.

Kevin was always God’s plan for me!  I am not powerful enough to change God’s plans. He knew me before He knit me together in my mother’s womb.  He knew at the beginning exactly what it would take to bring me to my knees before Him!  That is why all of this happened.  There was a part of me that believed God didn’t love me before I was saved- that His plans for me didn’t begin until I was saved.  That too was a lie!

My friends, the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy!  Jesus came so that we can have life and have it to the full! Ask God to expose the lies you are believing and step forward in truth.  It will change your life!  This revelation was an answer to prayer to expose the lies of the enemy.  At the time of praying, I did not have a CLUE that this would be God’s answer.

Lies, Truth, and Restoration

            It’s been quite some time since I posted on here.  I spent some time with God at the beach this weekend and felt led to share with you.  This is the first post. I hope it speaks to you!       

For months, I felt like the beach was calling me.  It was only just a few weeks ago I realized it wasn’t the beach, it was God! God was calling me to the beach for some healing time with Him. I was more than happy to oblige.  I could hardly wait for some time in His beautiful creation and in His arms.  I had no idea what He had in store for me!

            For a while I’d been feeling a little dry.  I was still walking on my journey with Jesus but I couldn’t feel his presence like before.  In prayer one night, I broke down and asked Him why I could not feel His presence any longer.  I’d begun thinking this was just a season… Something I had to go through in order to grow, maybe a test to see if I’d continue pursuing Him even though I couldn’t feel Him.  In prayer that night, my Abba showed me that I was the one who’d pulled away.  I’d been wounded and felt rejected by friends.  The enemy took advantage of this situation and began planting lies.  Of course, these lies were attached to THE lie: I’m not good enough.

            Somewhere along the line I began thinking I did not belong to this “group” so maybe I don’t belong to this church.  I subconsciously took it a step further and began thinking I didn’t belong to God either.  I thought, maybe God really doesn’t have a place for me in His Kingdom.  The sad thing is that I did not even realize I was believing these lies until my loving Savior gently showed them to me.  I was heartbroken!  I felt God’s heart for me in that moment, the grief of watching my pain. I could do nothing but cry and ask His forgiveness.

            After spending time in my Abba’s presence, I felt restored to Him.  I could not believe how long I’d actually been without His presence.  I normally spend a lot of time in God’s presence.  Usually, my day consists of lots of prayer time, worship, bible study, and time just being with Him.  Over time, I’d started spending less and less time pursuing Him.  Again, it was so subtle and so slow, I did not realize what had happened until everything was exposed.  I am extremely grateful for the time at the beach with my Abba!  Yet again, He called to me, drew me in, and spoke truth to me! 

            Where are you on your journey?  Are you feeling a little dry or separated from your Savior?  If so, I encourage you to seek Him with all your heart.  Ask Him what is separating you.  Take time to sit in His presence and listen for an answer.

Jeremiah 29:12-14 “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity…^”

                       

Moving Forward

I did not make the 30 day Paleo challenge.  However, I did learn a lot about myself, my eating habits, and my body during my short time on the diet.  First and most importantly I was eating entirely too much refined sugar.  The withdrawals were horrific!  I am so grateful for that realization and for ridding my body of that addiction.  I have a whole new awareness of what I put in my body.  Before, I was eating yogurt with fruit almost every day.  Seems harmless, right? Healthy even? Wrong!  That yogurt alone had about 26ish grams of sugar.  Combined with the fruit, NOT GOOD!  I had gotten to where I would eat a piece of dark chocolate a couple times a day.  There were lots of other ways sugar was sneaking into my daily routine as well. (Hint: check your cereal, oatmeal, protein bars, and even salad dressing)

Doing paleo, I also realized how important it is for me to be completely gluten free.  My stomach pain was drastically decreased and there was very little bloating.  For me, this is a big deal!  I remember feeling the same way when I went gluten free originally.  Why I continue to learn everything the hard way, I don’t know!!  I am determined to stay completely gluten free from here forward. 

Lately, I am feeling a bit frustrated with my health.  Doing paleo, I had a lot of health issues and since then I’ve had more.  I have been thinking a lot about when I was healthiest and feeling my best.  It was when I first went gluten free.  At that time, I was not eating many processed foods and I was exercising regularly doing Pilates.  Somewhere along the way, I began eating processed foods again and then went back to gluten.  Again, I am so grateful to God for making clear to me where I went wrong.  I had also quit doing Pilates.

Moving forward, I have new goals for taking care of myself.  Most importantly are maintaining a low sugar and gluten free diet.  I aim to eat fruits and vegetables as often as possible and keep processed foods to a minimum.  I will continue to use a lot of the tools I learned in Paleo.  I totally love the recipes and will continue cooking them.  I am officially hooked on Coconut milk for sure.  Also, I love cooking with the almond flour.  Many “gluten free” flours leave an aftertaste, not so with almond flour!  I will continue to eat more healthy fats with each meal and very little grains.  The main thing I’ve added back to my diet is dairy.  Although, even that is to a minimum.  I have done a lot of research and many paleo/primal dieters recommend raw cheese.  I bought some today and look forward to trying it soon.  Also, my protein powder is back!  Gotta have it in my smoothies… I’ve also added in some beans, specifically hummus. Yum!  Love hummus with carrot sticks!

Other goals include working Pilates into my regular bootcamp/crossfit routine.  While it is not enough to build the muscle I like, it does do my body good.  It really helps me with stretching, posture, alignment, and it helps relieve my headaches.  Also, I am spending more time in prayer, the Word, and in my Savior’s presence!

Paleo Ice Cream

Today is day 5 of Paleo… Whew! It’s been a little rough the past few days.  The carb cravings are killer and so are the headaches!  I did feel better after working out today, so that’s a plus.  Also, I’m super excited to say I found a recipe for primal/paleo ice cream! Yay for ice cream!  I just made some and put it in the freezer.  Can’t wait to see how it tastes!  If nothing else, it will feel good on my sore throat.

I will say this, even with the carb flu, I am feeling healthier.  My stomach is no longer bloated or painful!  That’s a relief!  I was a little worried how I would handle the fats but there was apparently no need for that.  All this time it’s been my beloved carbs making me sick.  Go figure!  I am truly surprised at myself and my lack of cheating so far.  I know this is an answered prayer because I have NEVER been able to do something like this on my own “willpower” before.  God is so good to me!

Paleo Day 2

Ok, so I started eating Paleo yesterday and so far, so good.  I cooked Paleo Pizza last night using Sarah Fragoso’s recipe as a guide. It was delicious!  Even my husband commented, he can do “this paleo thing” if that’s what the food tastes like!  That’s encouraging!  Especially for him, since I wasn’t cooking something separate for him anyway. Lol!

Day 2 is going pretty good so far.  The only problem is I am craving carbs terribly!  I am tempted to raid the pantry. I’m wondering how long this part will last…  I guess I have to go through some sort of detox to be rid of the cravings.  It’s at times like this when I wish I wasn’t a carb lover!

What Happened?

Last year I successfully went gluten free and dropped the last 12 pounds.  I started herbal supplements for my list of health issues. I mean really, you’d have thought I was an 80 year old woman with that list!  Craziness!  I began feeling better, having more energy and fewer headaches.  It was great! Until it wasn’t … So, what happened? That’s the question I’m still asking myself.  Looking back over these past couple of months, I’m still not sure how I fell so far.

After I graduated in May, I somehow stopped taking most of my herbal supplements.  It started out as a week missed and slowly crept up to almost 2 months.  I started “splurging” on gluten filled foods such as those delicious, white, fluffy, hamburger buns with seeds on top (you know the ones!). Oooohh, they were so very good!  The occasional splurge has now become frequent.

The result is that my workouts are suffering, headaches are increasing, and I’m having more abdominal pain along with the occasional bouts of cramping. Yuck! You’d think that would be enough for me to go back to my healthy eating 24/7. But, if you know me, you know that’s not what’s happening!!  Let’s face it; I can be stubborn and rebellious at times…  The good news is that I have started back on my herbal supplements.  The bad news is that my eating is still not pretty!

Last night we went to dinner with some friends and what did I order? Gluten battered fried shrimp!  They were oh so good, until they weren’t… Not again!  Upset tummy followed by conviction that this has got to stop!  It’s not worth it! Why, why, why do I have to learn EVERYTHING the hard way?

I have officially surrendered this issue to God. I’m tired of trying to do what I obviously cannot do on my own.  I am weak, my willpower is not enough.  I need God’s strength and His power!  As I continue to walk with Christ I am learning that surrendering is the key to breakthrough.  I surrendered last night and already today, God is providing answers.  This blog is one of them, and a definite way to be held accountable.  A dear friend encouraged me to set specific goals for short terms and see how I do, then readjust as needed.

One of my goals is to try the Paleo eating lifestyle for 30 days.  I will be starting Monday.  This week my goal is to try at least 2 Paleo recipes and to add 2 days to my normal workout schedule.  Please pray for me!

First Day Out

So, here goes with my first blog post! This should be interesting… Lol!  People, please bare with me.. If you’re reading this you are either friend or family and you already love me, so thanks for checking this out!  I’ve thought about starting a blog for quite some time but have been reluctant. Lately I have felt led to start one so here goes.  I’m not sure what God is going to use this for, maybe just a place to express myself, my dreams, and desires or maybe something else entirely… We’ll soon find out!  One thing I know for sure, He always has MUCH bigger and better plans than I do! Thanks for that!!